


Overdue Apologies

by romantichopelessly



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Hatred, Trust, Virgil Roman Logan and Thomas are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23985856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romantichopelessly/pseuds/romantichopelessly
Summary: Patton didn't expect any visitors after the video. Especially after Roman had ignored his knocking, and especially not from the one side he wasn't sure would ever visit him.
Relationships: Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 180





	Overdue Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> This was a bit rushed, but I kind of liked it?? Idk it's either platonic or romantic moceit. SPOILERS FOR PUTTING OTHERS FIRST.

A soft knock against Patton’s door startled him from his stupor.

He blinked, dropping the Watson pageboy cap that he had been running his fingers over reverently to head for the door. The sepia tones of Patton’s room always had blurred the passage of time, but Patton was nearly sure that he hadn’t been cooped up for too long, so he couldn’t imagine who would be calling for him already.

Despite how much Patton loved his kiddos, none of them ever seemed to come to visit him. Virgil was still afraid of the effects of Patton’s nostalgia, Logan had never made a habit of visiting the other sides in their own rooms, and Roman…

Well, Roman certainly wouldn’t be in the mood for a friendly fatherly visit, if the way that he had completely ignored Patton’s ten minutes worth of knocking was any indication.

Patton pushed those icky feelings away and stepped over the piles of photo albums and discarded clothing on the way to his door. Just a step away, distracted in his thoughts, Patton’s socked foot got caught in the pile of christmas sweaters--both his and Thomas’s--and he wobbled, tripping forward and grabbing his doorknob for support, pulling his door open.

Immediately, two hands were on his shoulders, steadying him.

Patton looked up, a joke about his own clumsiness on his tongue that quickly melted away when he met the two toned eyes staring down at him.

His first instinct was to smile, so he did. As soon as the grin took over his face, however, other feelings--more yucky feelings--started to bubble in Patton’s gut.

Of course. Janus. How could he have been so stupid? He should have gone to check on Janus after he left Roman’s unopened door. His stomach sank. Surely the deceitful side was not feeling the cheeriest right now, not after what Roman did--

Not after what _he_ did.

Patton’s heart felt heavy all of the sudden. He could still see De- Janus before him, protecting Thomas, protecting Thomas from _him_ -

“Janus! Hi!” His mouth was working before his heart could catch up, as if on autopilot. He had covered up his less than fun emotions enough times for his chipper words to need no permission from the rest of him.

“Hello, Patton.” There was something just there, hidden right behind Janus’s eyes, that Patton couldn’t identify. He didn’t bother to try. He was just about to ask what Janus was doing visiting little old him when Janus continued, asking probably the most baffling question-- _not really, not by a long shot_ \--that Patton had heard today.

“How are you, Patton?”

Patton’s mouth dried and he blinked in confusion. Janus was asking how _he_ was? That was not only unprecedented but extremely confusing.

But then again, what wasn’t confusing to Patton today?

“I’m-” Patton didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t really bring himself to lie. He hated doing it, and he knew that Janus would just see through it anyway. “I’m doing the best I can. How- How are you? How is Thomas?”

Because that was another thing. Patton also hadn’t gone back to check on Thomas yet. It wasn’t because he was afraid to, of course. Thomas trusted him. Thomas trusted Janus, too. He pushed himself to his feet, allowing Janus to drop his hands. For some reason, the loss of connection made Patton’s skin burn.

Without invitation, Janus stepped forward and into Patton’s room. Patton didn’t mind. For whatever reason, he felt as though he _had_ invited Janus in. Did that even make sense?

It was like he belonged here.

Maybe he just belonged wherever he wanted to.

“Thomas is as alright as he can be as well.” Janus’s eyes roamed over the stacks of items around him, and it struck Patton very suddenly that Janus had never been in his room.

“And you?” Patton inquired softly, after a moment of silence.

Janus was quiet still, running his gloved hands over a book that was sitting on Patton’s dresser. Patton could vividly remember just hours ago when that exact glove had come off for the first time that Patton could remember. When Janus had trusted them. Trusted Thomas. Trusted _him_.

It was a novel idea that Janus even could trust him. Patton didn’t even know if he trusted himself anymore.

Patton’s heart hurt.

“I’m sorry.” He said, loud and clear. Janus hadn’t answered his question, but that didn’t matter anymore. He could hear it. Apologies are worthless after too many. But Patton never had apologized to Janus, had he? Not since they were children, in the very least.

Janus looked over at him, a perplexed look clouding his expression. Patton continued before he could say anything.

“I’m sorry, Janus. I- I don’t say it enough, not to you at least, but I’ve just been hurting Thomas, and you- you had to step in, and-” Patton covered his face with his hands. For how many times he had had to apologize lately, you would have thought that he would have been better at it. “I owe you about a hundred apologies, Janus. For what I did to Thomas, for how I’ve treated you in the past, and for not checking on you earlier, after what Roman said-”

“You aren’t responsible for Roman.”

Patton blinked. “Wh-”

Janus was facing him fully now. “You are not responsible for Roman.”

“But, I-”

Janus sighed. “I understand the sentiment, Patton. And it… means a lot that you are willing to try.” It was obvious from the look on his face that Janus was uncomfortable with the level of emotional honesty that he was portraying, and it made Patton’s heart do uncomfortable little flips in his chest.

“I-” Patton’s mind was muddled. He shook his head. “It means a lot to me too, Janus. That you- That you care about Thomas so much, and that you’re willing-” A hiccup caught in his throat. Oh fiddlesticks, he was going to cry, wasn’t he? “Willing to trust me. Or, at least, try to.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Janus’s lips and Patton knew that he was probably showing just how soft that little smile made him feel all over his face.

“Of course, Patton.” And Patton didn’t even care if a few of his tears leaked over.


End file.
